My Life

The streets were pitch dark and the leaves on the trees were blowing away. Mr. and Mrs. Perez were headed to a dinner at a friend's house. “ Como fue tu dia en el trabajo? ” they were talking on the way, asking each other how was their day, not noticing the little red light above them. EEER PSHHH!!

*****

The phone rang, Elizabeth answered. “Hello,” she said. “What? When? How?” Her parents had a car accident and were in critical condition. Elizabeth rushed to St. Mary's Hospital, hoping that she wasn't too late.

“What would I do without my parents?” she asked herself. Oh God, please save them!

She ran into the room and heard a “Beeee…” Right away, she knew she was too late.

*****

“Kira couldn't find her earring and was getting pissed off…” Elizabeth was in the school cafeteria, reading chapter 3 from The Losses of Life . She was sitting in her usual corner ignoring the yelling and laughing of the other students, when she spotted Tina Tirado from the corner of her eye.

“Oh, look at the orphan reading a book. Don't you have anything better to do?” Tina antagonized.

Elizabeth just stared, having nothing to say.

“What are you staring at, ugly-looking, dumb nerd. It ain't my fault you ain't got no parents, orphan.”

The whole cafeteria went, “Ohhh!” Elizabeth turned around and left without saying a word.

“Why are you leaving, punk? Cuz you ain't got anything to say!” Tina yelled after her.

“Well, if she ain't got anything to say, I do,” Joshua Jimenez said, jumping out of nowhere. “You do not have the right to talk to her like that. And I wouldn't be talking about Elizabeth being ugly, because looking like a bulgey hippo is taking you nowhere,” he pointed out, looking at Tina.

Once again, everybody went, “Ohhh!” They were expecting Tina to say something back, but she just rolled her eyes and stomped out the door of the cafeteria.

“ Elizabeth , wait up!” Joshua yelled, running out of breath. He was trying to catch up to her before she went out the door.

Elizabeth kept walking, acting as if she didn't hear him.

“C'mon, please wait up,” he called after her. Finally when he caught up, he grabbed her by the arm and turned her around.

“Please let go of me,” she exclaimed. “I am not in a good mood at this moment.” Tina had turned her whole day off and all she wanted to do was go home.

“Can you please listen to me?” Joshua asked. He let go of her arm.

Elizabeth ignored him and rushed out the door.

*****

“Grandma, I'm home,” Elizabeth called, entering her house.

“Oh, hi sweetie. Howa was your day in school?” Elizabeth 's grandma was in the living room couch, watching El Gordo y L Flaca on channel 41.

“Not very well,” she answered.

“Why? Que paso? Is something wrong?” her grandma asked.

“Did you ever get teased or bothered by any other girls in school?”

“Well, yeah. Today in school, this girl went up to me and --,” she paused.

“Don't worry sweetie. I understand if you don't want to talk about it, but you have to stand up for yourself. You can't just let some girl talk to you like that and not say anything back.”

“Thanks grandma.” Elizabeth headed up the stairs to her room. She had some studying to do.

*****

Elizabeth sat at the edge of her bed, staring into the mirror that was reflecting a nerd-looking girl. She saw herself uglier than she had ever before.

“Maybe grandma is right. I should stand up for myself. I can't just let people do this to me,” she told herself. “Maybe even Tina is right about my ugliness. Why is my life like this? Why couldn't I just be a teenager with a normal life? Have a family, have friends, and be beautiful.” All these things were going through her head. She threw herself back on the bed and closed her eyes.

Knock! Knock!

“Can I come in, sweetie?” Grandma asked.

“Sure,” Elizabeth answered.

“Sweetheart, why don't you go take a walk or something. Don't just stay here, locked up in your room.”

“Grandma, does it smell to you like burned chicken?”

“Oh my God. My chicken is burning!” Her grandmother ran to the kitchen.

Elizabeth just laughed. It had been a long time since she had a smile on her face. It was true what her grandma had said. Elizabeth had a great idea. She grabbed a hundred dollars from her savings and took the bus to the Queens Center Mall .

Joshua was sitting inside Joe's café, eating a bacon, egg, and cheese sandwich with a glass of orange juice. He looked out the window and saw Elizabeth walking into Duane Reade. This is my chance to talk to her, he thought to himself. So he asked for his bill, paid, and raced across the street.

Meanwhile inside Duane Reade, Elizabeth was walking down Aisle 3, searching for Citre Shine gel. She had to style her hair so that it looked good with the outfits she had bought the day before. She looked up at the security camera and saw Joshua approaching her. She quickly dropped everything and raced though the aisles, trying to make her way to the door.

Unfortunately for her, Joshua caught up to her. He once again grabbed her by the arm, but this time he didn't let go.

“Get off of me. Why are you always following me?” Elizabeth exclaimed.

“I just want to talk to you for 2 minutes.” He loosened his grip.

“Okay. Just tell me: what do you want?”

“I just want to know why you didn't say anything back to Tina the other day in school. You can't just let her hurt your feelings like that. If she does this again just tell me and I'll have your back.”

“Thank you. I didn't know you were really that nice. It's just that…”

“I know what you're talking about. Tina is just a mean witch who thinks she can take over people. But one of these days, somebody is gonna stand up to her and leave her crying.”

“'One of these days' just might be Monday.” Elizabeth left Duane Reade without saying another word. She had an idea.

On Monday, Elizabeth entered the school looking like a model. She had on a pair of tight jeans and a blue Rocawear shirt with a denim jacket. Her hair was blown-out and for the first time she had makeup on. Everybody was looking at her like “Whoa!”

At lunchtime Joshua went up to Elizabeth . She was sitting at her usual corner, reading the last chapter from The Losses of Life.

“Wow, Elizabeth , you look beautifully different.” He complimented her.

“Thank you, Joshua.”

“Can I sit with you?” he asked.

“Sure.”

From the corner of her eye she saw Tina headed towards them. “Uh-oh. Here comes trouble,” they both said.

“Oh, hi Elizabeth . You look so beautiful today. NOT!” Tina snorted.

Elizabeth didn't say anything.

“Thinking you're looking so beautiful. To tell you the truth you look like a little wannabe J. Lo. You look uglier than you have ever looked in your life, orphan.”

This time Elizabeth didn't stay quiet.

Additional Comments

Creates an Organizing Structure: The events are organized chronologically and scene shifts are clearly indicated using space breaks.

Includes Sensory Detail and Concrete Language to Develop Plot and Character: The events are organized chronologically and scene shifts are clearly indicated using space breaks.

Develops Complex Characters: Elizabeth 's struggles make her complex. She has to deal with her parents' death, but more significantly she has to make a number of decisions such as whether or not to stand up for herself and whether or not she is beautiful. The other characters could be made complex if given reasons for their actions.

Overall Grade: Meets standards